I nodded. "Plus 20," I answered. Of course, that's
when I remembered that I was about 19 when I met him, back at Penn State.
That's right... <cue dramatic music> TWENTY YEARS AGO. And yet,
I hardly feel a day older. It would be nice to believe I didn't look a
day older either, although when I see pictures of myself from back then,
I look like a child.
Then again, maybe to the friends I met in college, I still look the
same. I know that whenever I think of one of my oldest friends, I still
see her, in my mind's eye, the way she looked when we met: a 3-year-old
with neat, dark brown braids.
Honestly, though, I don't want to be 19 again. I've learned and experienced
so much since then, and I have a much richer life than I ever could
have predicted (thanks in part to my sweet, thoughtful husband, The
Gryphon). I'll take a few aches and pains if it means I get to live
the life I live now. The universe might not have gifted me with grace,
but it did bestow on me an appreciation of beauty, love and all the
wonders of this earth.
While walking my dog this morning, I stopped to talk to the elderly
neighbor who likes to sit in front of his house, admiring his well-tended
roses. When I told him about my birthday (and my age), he put it in
perspective. "You're young," he said. But then he added, "You
have at least 11 years until things start to slow down." Thanks,
I think.
We pondered, together, the nature of our human existence. We both admitted
we have no idea where we come from, where we are going. But we believe
that somehow, we all live on. He asked me, "Do you think that when
you get to heaven, you get to choose which body you get? You wouldn't
want to be an infant, because you can't do anything. But 89, that's
no fun either."
I told him that I hope you get to pick.
"I think 33 would be good," he said. I agreed. Thirty-three
sounded like a good age to be.
Or for now, 39.
This morning, as is becoming an annual tradition, I took some self-portraits,
this time in Old City Philadelphia.
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