Musings
an Online Journal of Sorts

By Alyce Wilson

Our weekend was jam-packed with fun and excitement... I mean, wedding planning.

For some reason, I woke up in a bad mood on Saturday and was irritable for most of the morning. The Gryphon thought it might have something to do with the over-the-counter sleeping medication I had taken the night before.

My brother's wife had suggested I take some the night before the wedding, so I can sleep, so I wanted to test it out.

A quick Internet search revealed that a possible side effect was anxiety. So I took it again last night, just to compare. And I haven't had any noticeable problems with irritability or anxiety, so I think it was situational.

After breakfast, we drove to IKEA to find some tea light holders for the LED tea lights we'll be using. We found a variety of different ones, and our favorites were some tall frosted ones, but they didn't have 30 of them. So we went for our second choice, a flatter frosted holder.

The only clear frosted ones were in the back corner of the display pallet, so we asked a store employee to help us. She helped lift a box of them out for us. Everything would have been fine, except The Gryphon counted them and discovered there was an extra layer. When I picked it up to return it to the display pallet, somehow one was stuck to the bottom, fell off and smashed on the floor.

This shook me up so bad I almost dropped the rest of them, because the cardboard was definitely not steady. But I managed to keep them all safe. The IKEA employee said we didn't have to pay for the broken one. I wouldn't be surprised if this had happened before. Still, I felt silly ab0ut it.

Then we looked around for some items for the guest book table. We are using a guest book that consists of separate pages that people fill out and then turn in, so we needed something to collect the pages as well as a container for the fine-tip markers they'll use to write on them.

We walked through the office section, looking for something to use that would fit the aesthetic of our wedding. The only thing we could come up with was a white and chrome magazine file. I tested it out once we got home, and all the pages fit with room to spare.

Then The Gryphon suggested we use a square glass vase to put the markers, although we had a little argument over whether we should get two. The Gryphon said one should be fine, and I relented. As it turns out, he was right: all the markers I purchased fit in there.

Everything might have been fine, except that when we got home we got a call from the event coordinator at the hotel. She wanted to give us the final total for what we owed. The number she cited was far above the number we'd arrived at, with a discrepancy of about $2,000.

She also was still having trouble figuring out what menu we'd used to select our choices for the rehearsal dinner. So after she hung up, I was beginning to lose confidence. I worried that everything would fall apart. It was irrational, but I worked myself into a frenzy. The Gryphon told me that he would come with me to meet with her on Wednesday and make sure everything went smoothly. That way, if he needed to step in as "bad cop", he could.

It wasn't long after that I realized that the discrepancy came, in part, from the fact that she might not have been aware that we made a payment since our deposit. The hotel would surely have a record of it. On top of that, I realized we'd neglected to include some items in our estimate, such as the charge for the ceremony room, which is independent from the reception cost.

She faxed us the final bill to The Gryphon's work place today, and he faxed her a copy of his receipt for the payment. According to him, he's satisfied that, once they account for that payment, the estimate is correct.

She also called me this morning to tell me she'd figured out where the menu came from. It was the regular restaurant menu, instead of a banquet menu, which is why she got confused.

I was feeling a little better by the time that The Dormouse arrived to take The Gryphon away for his bachelor party. He gave us the bad news that yes, there was something wrong with the doorbell. It wasn't just the UPS guy. So I had one more task to accomplish that night: buying another battery for the doorbell.

While The Gryphon was out, I walked our doggie, Una. She cheered me up. I tried to call my sister but got her voicemail.

Then I ran some errands, stopping first at Victoria's Secret to use a gift card my sister had given me for my birthday. I wanted to get something special for my wedding night. As always, I had to try on about a dozen items to find something I really liked, but I did managed to achieve my goal.

While I was out, I also picked up a wristlet purse, which has a strap to go around your wrist. I thought it could be good for our honeymoon.

Also, I wanted to find some lightweight pants that fit me, because the size 10 chinos are getting too big. However, the way most pants are cut, a size 8 fits perfectly around the waist but is snug in the thighs. I solved this dilemma with the help of an assistant at Anne Tyler Loft, who found me some wide-legged lightweight denim pants that really worked. I wore them all day yesterday, and they were comfortable.

I also managed to get a doorbell battery at K-Mart. In fact, I bought two, so we'll have one next time it acts up.

By then I was feeling better. I got a call from my sister, who told me to stop stressing. "Everything's going to be fine," she said.

"Everyone keeps saying that," I said.

Saturday night I tossed and turned, waking with dark circles under my eyes, making me think that the idea of taking Unisom is probably good for Friday. I dreamt that I had some relatives I'd forgotten about, and I had to rush to find them accommodation and transportation for the wedding. The relatives included a cranky World War II veteran, shuffling along in his uniform and complaining about everything.

I don't have enough real-life anxiety: let's create some in my dreams!

I don't know how much time I'll have to do Musings this week, so I'm going to make this a sort of double entry. Sunday was much more mellow. After The Gryphon and I got breakfast, he worked on the image presentation for the reception. He was adding creative transitions for the slides that used multiple images.

While worked on that, I looked through all our information and did some organizing. I created a sheet of special instructions for the hotel, which included everything unusual that the hotel needed to do: things like hanging the curtains in the ceremony space. I spelled out the layout of each room, including the layout of the tables.

The bell wands, by the way, had arrived on Friday, after their brief sojourn in Delaware due to a ZIP code error. I was expecting them Friday, but I had an appointment to have my eyebrows waxed, so I left a note on the door authorizing UPS to leave it, which they did. The box was the worse for wear, but the wands were in good shape. They are our alternative to using rice.

I created a list of what items need to be transferred where and when. Many of them will be given to the event coordinator on Wednesday. Another batch will go to the hotel Friday night, to be in my mom's room. The rest will go on Saturday. I also spelled out who will be collecting the various items that are ours, since we'll be leaving straight for our honeymoon.

I redid the floor plan, by the request of the event coordinator, to include the numbers of each type of entree for each table. I also did a list for her of the order of our processional, which she requested. And I came up with a list of questions we want to ask her, as well as a sheet on the special dietary requirements of one of our guests.

That done, I busied myself putting together a binder of information for Mom. She's acting as my point person that day, with the idea being that she will be my eyes and ears while I'm doing other things. She'll check to make sure the rooms are set up properly and will act as a mediator between myself and the event coordinator.

I called her to give her a heads-up of what we wanted her to do, and she was fine with it. Hopefully, she won't have to do much, but at least I know she's there if we do need her.

Next, I put a list together of the information we need to convey to the key participants, such as the guest book attendant, the friend who'll be videotaping, and the usher.

Finally, I sent a list to the DJ that included the order of events at the wedding, spelling out exactly what he will need to be announcing at different times. I also requested he tell me when he's going to be arriving on Saturday, so I can put that in the itinerary I'll give to my mom and share with the event coordinator.

While I was working on all of this, The Gryphon seemed concerned, mistaking my thinking face for frustration. I told him that the reason I'm planning everything out the way I am is to fend off problems brought by, for example, miscommunication. I know how important it is that you tell people exactly what you want. That way I won't be tempted to dash around and try to make everything right when it's too late to do so!

But ultimately, I'll have to just make peace with the fact that some things may go wrong, but others will go right. As the hippies say, it's all good.

More on Alyce's wedding planning:

Musings on Alyce's Wedding

Copyright 2006 by Alyce Wilson

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