School Year 1992-1993

Boot to the Head

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Back in the day, many of us Pythonites in the Monty Python Society listened to a radio show called Dr. Demento, which introduced us to a range of comedy from both sides of the pond. One of all-time favorites of Dementoids was a sketch called "Boot to the Head," also known as "Tae Kwon Leap" by the Canadian group, The Frantics.

We quoted this sketch frequently and at least once, in the fall of 1992, performed it at a meeting.

 

(from left) Mark Sachs, Andy Wilson, Neale Lanigan (standing), Steve Gradess, Carl Haicken

MASTER: Approach student, close the circle at the feet of the master. You have come to me asking that I be your guide along the path of Tae Kwon Leap. But, be warned: To learn its ways, you must learn the ways of your own soul. Let us meditate on this wisdom now. So: Ohhhhmmmmm...

STUDENT1 (Ed Gruberman): Uh, sir! Sir! (Oo!, Oo!) Sir!

MASTER: Who disturbs our meditation, as a pebble disturbs the stillness of the pond?

EG: Me! Ed Gruberman!

MASTER: E-Ed Gruberman.

EG: Yeah, uh, no disrespect or nuthin', but, uh, how long is this gonna take?

MASTER: Tae Kwon Leap is not a path to a door, but a road leading forever towards the horizon.

EG: So like, what, an hour or so?

MASTER: No, no, we have not even begun upon the path. Ed Gruberman, you must learn patience.

EG: Yeah yeah yeah, patience. How long will that take?

MASTER: Time has no meaning. To a true student, a year is as a day.

EG: A YEAR??? I wanna beat people up right now! I got the pajamas! Yah yah yah hwoom!

MASTER: 'Beat people up'...

EG: Yeah! Just show me all those nifty moves so I can start trashing bozos! That's all I came here for! YO ASTA STA STA!!! Pretty good, eh?

MASTER: The only use of Tae Kwon Leap is self-defense. Do you know who said that? Ki Lo Ni, the great teacher.

EG: Yeah? Well the best defense is a good offense, you know who said that? Mel, the cook on Alice.

MASTER: Tae Kwon Leap is the wine of purity, not the vinegar of hostility. Meditate upon this truth with us. Ohmmmmmm.....