In honor of Halloween, here are some found items that relate to the holiday. I picked them up while walking my dog, Una.
First, a rather obvious one: a bat. It resembles the Batman insignia, is about two inches wide, and is printed on a flimsy cardboard. No doubt it was part of the packaging for some toy related to the franchise. Or maybe it was a portion of some very large bat confetti.
Next is a drawing of a very stylized skeleton with a bubble coming out of his mouth, saying, "Boo!" He looks almost animatronic, with a large, extended breast plate and two sets of snake-like arms. Perhaps it's the skeleton of an alien. Boo.
The next found item shows evidence of a scary obsession. It's apparently a paper handed out in school that says at the top, "Healthy Children: See how many words you can make out of the phrase 'healthy children.' The words must be more than 3 letters long....Have Fun."
Instead, someone has scrawled the same name repeatedly: "Markee, Markee, Mark eee," followed by the word "football," which is written on top of lines as if it was the answer to a game of Hangman. Yet, oddly, although the word has been completed, a completed figure (complete with eyes) is swinging from a gallows above. Also, there is a distinct lack of evidence that anyone was trying out letters and failing (one normally writes the incorrect letters somewhere, to keep track). Was this "Markee"-obsessed person playing Hangman by his or herself? Creepy.
On the back is a drawing of three individuals, presumably football
players. Two are faceless and bear the numbers "88" and
"19." A third is the only one with eyes and has no number.
Plus, this one has been crossed off. Could this be Markee? Healthy
children my left foot.
Next we witness the horrid heartache of young love. First, we find
a piece of notebook paper where someone has carefully written block
letters in orange and brown marker: "D+D = H." ("H"
meaning hearts, perhaps?) The letters are surrounded by two-colored
hearts. But when I found it, the creation had been ripped in three
pieces. Why?
The answer comes on another sheet of notebook paper, found with the first and also ripped into thirds. In alternating orange and brown letters, it reads, "If you didn't like me then why did you give me a ring!!!!" I'm sure we're all haunted by such memories.
The next item is another class exercise, where the students were apparently supposed to write about things that were bad. I'm mainly including this one because of one particular line. The spelling is pretty scary, too. It reads: "I have fights too (ph) toys. I did not see my there (ph). I have bad bay. (ph) I hav a Bat Blog. My siser is casing on DUCI (ph)."
Cool, a bat blog. Wonder if it's this one? Or maybe this one? Or perhaps this one? I bet it has lots of bat news.
On the back is a drawing that seems rather innocuous at first. Wait a minute. Are those two blissed-old people standing next to a burning building? Don't forget to give this kid candy on Halloween.
The final find is a handout that seems to have been part of a class assignment, perhaps for high school. It is titled "Big Eater's Wife" and is subtitled "A Pequot Legend." It tells a rather rambling and, I believe, misogynistic, tale about how a ravaging male is finally defeated by a resourceful woman, who in the tale is called an "evil ghost woman." In this tale, no means yes, violence against women is OK, and fighting back is "evil." (If those subjects are triggers for you, do not read any further.)
