Musings
an Online Journal of Sorts

By Alyce Wilson

On Saturday, we had another important wedding related task: meeting with our DJ.

I spent most of Saturday, after going out to breakfast and walking the dog, on my iTunes, checking back over the various lists I'd made: one for cocktails, one for dinner hour and one for dancing.

It wouldn't have taken me so long, except that I also was adding new CDs that I'd bought recently. I rated each track one to five stars and determined whether I thought I wanted it in our lists.

When I was all done, The Gryphon helped me figure out how to print out the playlists to share them with our DJ, a guy I'll call DJ Rock.

We had arranged to meet him at the Marathon Grill at 1339 Chestnut Street, and we were running a little late because the train was late. We thought that he might already be there, but as it turned out, he called us just as we were getting seated to let us know he was looking for parking.

When he arrived, he was looking stylish in black slacks and a button-d0wn shirt. He told us that he was going to a party with some friends after meeting with us.

We ordered our food — his dinner was on us — and gave up the updated playlists. He recognized most of the songs, because I hadn't changed a whole lot, although I had added and subtracted a few.

For example, here's a glance at our cocktail music.

Of course, we discussed other information, too, such as the logistics of the event and how what sort of duties he'd have at the reception itself. I promised to e-mail him a copy of our event order from the hotel, which has a rundown of events at the reception. I also told him I'd e-mail him a copy of the room layout.

There were a few details we hadn't worked out yet, like the music we wanted to process and recess to at our ceremony. We had some ideas but hadn't nailed it down. In addition, we needed to come up with a song to use for one of the special dances at the reception.

When we were done with business, we talked about other things, such as pop culture, music and family stories. DJ Rock grew up as a military brat, and his father had also been a professor, so he'd moved around and seen some interesting things. As a day job, DJ Rock currently works as an engineer for Lockheed-Martin, so as you can imagine, he's had a colorful life.

And then he's got the other side of his life, which is involved with the arts, namely music as well as science fiction conventions, such as Philcon. It was through his association with the latter that we met him, through mutual friends. One of the reasons we're so happy he's our DJ is that we know he'll know exactly what sort of music will interest our wedding guests, since he shares mutual interests with them.

I was surprised, though, to learn he's about 10 years older than I thought! He explained that he's been taking care of himself after a health scare seven years ago. It must be doing him good.

After dinner, we bid him good-bye and told him to have a nice time at his party. To celebrate another wedding task completed successfully, The Gryphon and I walked to Tria, one of our favorite places, for a little wine and cheese. I had the Shiraz "Mother's Milk" ('04 Barossa, Australia), a delicious Australian wine with a rich, sweet aftertaste. I do love my sweet wines.

For cheeses, we had French Raclette, an earthy goat cheese selected by The Gryphon, and my selection, the Tête De Moine, a Swiss cheese with a dense, intense, fruity flavor.

I must say, one of the best things about about my relationship with The Gryphon is that we both love to learn new things. So, for example, I've taught him a lot about music and poetry, while he's taught me a lot about food appreciation. I've learned that I can savor new places and explore new cuisines while still eating healthy and maintaining my fitness. It's a wonderful realization, and I credit The Gryphon for teaching me that.

Meeting with our DJ was one of the last major details, since we've already met with our photographer and given him a list of must-have photos. In a couple weekends, we'll be meeting with our florist to finalize plans for the flowers.

Just about everything else is more minor. I've recently updated our checklist to add some items we need accomplish that wouldn't be on everyone's list, such as having the curtains steam pressed that we're going to be using as additional decorations at the ceremony.

Many of the things we have to do yet are things we can't do until we know how many people are coming. For example, we're going to order a guest book through a great place called The Guestbook Store. They offer personalized guest books which allow guests to enter personal greetings and answers to various questions, rather than just sign their name. Of course, since each guest gets a page, we won't know for a little while how many pages to order.

The same can be said for items such as favors or such as the table decorations we're providing, which can't be bought until we know how exactly many tables we'll need.

On Sunday, The Gryphon and I finalized our song choices for the ceremony music, which I e-mailed to DJ Rock along with the other info I'd promised.

Then, when The Gryphon went to his weekly meeting of PAGE (Philadelphia Area Gaming Enthusiasts), I looked through my boxes of personal papers in the basement to look for a poem my mom had written me, which she wants to update and read at our ceremony. It's a beautiful poem about a mother's feeling, watching me grow up and go on my own life's journey.

Of course, neither one of us could remember whether she'd written it for my high school or college graduation, so I went through three different boxes before I realized it might be in the box marked "Letters and Photographs". After all, she'd originally included it in a graduation card, and I might have filed it under correspondence. Sure enough, it was in there, near the bottom (of course)!

This morning, I called the local courthouse to find out exactly what we needed to do to get our marriage license, and they informed me I needed to bring my divorce decree from 10 years ago. I ended up calling two courthouses, since we're getting married in a different county than the one we live in. Both confirmed that it didn't matter which county issues the license, as long as we get married in Pennsylvania.

The person answering the phone at one of the counties was a little brusque, telling me that I needed to bring the original divorce decree, with a raised seal, not a copy. I told her I only had one copy, and it was the one I originally had mailed to me. She said I had to check it to make sure it was certified, because otherwise I had to get a new one from the county that issued it.

This sufficiently panicked me that I wouldn't be satisfied until I'd dug through yet another box to find the decree, which was, indeed, properly certified.

She also managed to panic me about my name. I told her that I'd heard that if I'd changed my name back I needed to bring proof, and I asked her if my driver's license was sufficient proof. She tried to tell me that just because I had my name changed on my driver's license didn't mean it was legally changed, but I tried to tell her I'd also changed it with the federal government and with the Social Security office, following all the steps I'd been told to.

Having changed my name twice, once to my married name, which was Alyce Wilson Nesbit, and once to my maiden name again, I knew the procedure. Yet she made it sound as if I had never legally changed it at all!

Now, it's possible that she's had run-ins with people who have done stupid things (like changing their name on their magazine subscription and assuming it was changed), I do happen to know that the only time you can change your name legally without having to go to court and pay for it is if you have proof of either a marriage license or a divorce decree. Then you just send said proof to the proper authorities and fill out their forms, and it's done. Trust me on this.

Needless to say, we're going to get our marriage license from the county that didn't make me all panicky.

Maybe we can do it near our fourth anniversary. That seems appropriate, since it was on our anniversary last year that The Gryphon proposed.

My sister is planning on visiting us in August, and she'll help us put together the slide show of Space Age images we'll project on the wall during the reception, which we hope will add a fun element to it.

I've already scheduled hair appointments for both me and The Gryphon for our last shape-ups (and my practice run with my hairdo) in September. Cruising along!

More on Alyce's wedding planning:

Musings on Alyce's Wedding

Copyright 2006 by Alyce Wilson

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