Musings
an Online Journal of Sorts

By Alyce Wilson

Some of the found items I pick up while walking the dog are incomplete, such as notes torn into bits and scattered. Sometimes, I'm lucky enough to find nearly all of the pieces, but at other times, I'm left with just enough pieces to hint at the nature of the note.

As I piece them together at home, I sometimes feel like a scholar struggling to make sense of the Dead Sea Scrolls.

The first one, written in a sweeping hand, is apparently a note to a young lover. It's written on both the back and the front, and since I'm missing so much, I'm not sure exactly where to place them. If I put them together right, the fragments of the front read:

Hey baby gir

                I                                        ! and
usual                                               and
                                            order. Im a
                                            Im dead
                                            nt to give
                                            sexul sexually
                                            o . I want
                                            ou smile.
                                                 don't
                                                       to.

The back half reads:

                                                    e
                                  me grounded.
                                  y and
                                            me.

                            you right
                                        find
Da                             see ya
there                           ething!!
imagine y
          you

My interpretation: two young people (male and female? two females?) are involved in a tumultuous relationship. The writer of the note wants to get involved with the beloved sexually but is afraid of consequences for the relationship, such as being grounded. No wonder it was so viciously torn asunder!

By far the most challenging note I pieced together was pulverized into dozens of tiny fragments, many of which I never found. It reads:

                   Halla OK         y Bitches think they hard
               our a                  AO.
AHAH, [place name] fucking cannonsliya fucking
    click. ya sum little ass girls with no fucking
         what more is there to say. But Im not
a respector of no fuckin Bitch cuz ya all the
fuck gay. can't none of ya bet me, put ya lie   every
                       Take notes yung one. So im          ya
hearing ya fuckin with my little cuzzin [name]
right? Okay ya dun fucked up already. See
my little cuz try to stay away from that type
of shit... But the rest of us live that shit
        day we bitches beat
       fuck up it ain't sh
[name] to hop on that fuckin   El from [place name]
to be up ya nut ass school to                         the
fuck out. It 07 Baby... fuc                           Ya All.
Some ugly mother fuckers. LOL  Im not bout
the talkin yungin i def reside at [house number]
[street name], [municipality] evday
[High school name] is where i fucking reside
[first name] fucking [last name]. Ask about me.
  ma fuck ya ugly bitches up keep fucking
    my little cuzzin. Im the wron        [name?]
               the w                                       st me if u want
                u. I                                          irty fucking
                  lookin

It continues just a little on the back:

ya mad as shit my       le cuzzi
don't acknowledge          fact

Clearly, from what I've deciphered, this is a schoolyard fight grown very ugly, with somebody from another school district rushing to angry defense of her little cousin. Despite all the swearing and the implied violence, the note seems primarily the venting of anger, having presumably just learned about some vile thing done to her little cousin.

Something tells me the receiver of this note has no intention of showing up at the other girl's school for an ass-kicking.

Another note was torn into much larger pieces, but I only found the edges:

got                                     it's me
both                                        on
love
behi
best (?)
woul
expla
this
that w
through s
just our li
be able to
my mind
know
way. B
for ab
ya sexy
The way y
Now I'm s
this

I could be wrong, but this sounds like the writer is trying to let someone down easy. Like, "Ya sexy but let me explain why this isn't working." Seems the person who received the note wasn't satisfied with the explanation.

Another find, torn into several fragments, is a note from a school administrator about a school infraction:

      Administrat   
[First name]         1040
  [Last name]     session
     ferral:  M            "Threatening
                               language."
        bitch, fucking, ass
           Parent contact dates:

   e    Time: 2:50-3:30   Dates: 10/2 / 6
         Return on:
         Time:
                             2130

Maybe this student knew the writer of the "bitches" note. It's funny, to me, that though the note has been torn up, the bad words remain legible, more than the incident itself. This student probably swore while tearing this up.

Perhaps a better behaved student was nonetheless unhappy enough with a homework assignment to tear it up, of which I recovered only one fragment. The front appears to be a write-up about a poem:

                 [First Name]

[First Name]

Bye, Baby

I like thi
has ryming
hunting, s
part about
the queen
and a g

The back appears to be a similar assignment:

/06
fight
 bout this book
that
lost because
    a
rite part
when
told
were

I'm not certain whether this assignment had already been turned in or if the student was simply unhappy with the results. Clearly, this must have been an interesting book, as it seems to include "ryming," hunting, a fight, and a queen.

Some fragments are so tantalizing I strive for weeks to find further fragments, only to end up disappointed. This fragment is torn from a Christmas card (the paper is card stock, and the opposite side features green, cream, and a hint of holly). It reads:

           bennef
  n 1/4 years th
since Jan. 04. Be
 enough my daug
    never told me
       I are t
         boy

I'm
f

What did the daughter never tell the card writer? Was it something about the boy mentioned two lines below? And who is the card written to? Another member of the family, or some third party? Why did the card recipient tear the card apart and scatter the pieces? Perhaps there are some secrets daughters should not tell their mothers.

Then there is a personal note, apparently written to a friend or relative. At first glance, it appears to be personal, since it includes words like "appreciate" and "my mom" and "continually":

   ask you or to
  would appreci
 m. I have no c
my mom. That is
contiually continual
enny. Can you
    me a steak
     argets tom

But that's before you read the back, which is clearly a shopping list:

Cheese Stea
   fried onion
    Salt Pepper

Bag of barbec

The hand writing on the back appears at first to be the same, except that it slants slightly to the right, while the writing on the front clearly slants to the left. They appear to be written with the same pen.

Putting the two sides together, my guess is that the original note writer was asking politely ("would appreciate") for someone to pick up a cheesesteak, as the note writer has "no car" and some sort of issue with his or her mom. The note recipient then, I surmise, after finding the note, contacted the note writer and wrote down the precise food order.

Now, why the recipient found it necessary to later rip the note up is anyone's guess. Maybe he or she is tired of running errands, no matter how nicely someone asks.

The final fragment tells enough of the story that the missing pieces don't matter. In a childish hand it reads:

Sorry Mrs. [Name] for
mean to you and I am so
[Name]

This was an apology note, written on a scrap of paper, probably hand-delivered to the person the note writer had offended. The fact that it's written in such a timid hand seems to indicate that the writer might have been intimidated about delivering the note. Or perhaps just of the parent or guardian who insisted upon the note being written!

Copyright 2008 by Alyce Wilson

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