Musings
an Online Journal of Sorts

By Alyce Wilson

The problem pipe

Day Two: The Poopdeck (Sunday, July 25)

I awakened to the sound of voices, one of which I didn't recognize. My sister also woke up and went zipping out of her room to see what was up. The Gryphon joked that it was like a small dog waking up and realizing there was an intruder in the house.

"She's a purse sister," he joked.

At first, the problem seemed simple. The shower, which was an old-fashioned one made out of a bathtub and a pipe contraption, was leaking so that the water wasn't coming out of the showerhead but spilling out of the pipe.

As the landlord, who my brother's wife thought looked like Mr. Roper from Three's Company, addressed that problem, we got ourselves some breakfast and waited. We were careful to avoid a leak in the dining room which the landlord had told us came from a leak in the central air system. This leak was pretty severe and was spilling on one corner of the table and the floor.

My brother and his wife have been doing renovations in their house in Vermont, so they're very familiar with the field of home repairs. My brother's wife went upstairs to look for an air conditioner vent and said there was no way the leak could be coming from that. She had other suspicions.

Sure enough, when Mr. Roper took the ceiling panel down, which he at first refused to do, my brother looked at the rotted out pipe and knew it was not an air conditioning leak but, in fact, from the sewer pipe from the upstairs bathroom.

At this point, my brother told Mr. Roper there was no way the pipe could be fixed without being replaced. The landlord insisted it could be patched.

So we all walked to my mom's place to hang out while things were sorted out. It was a wet day, and my mother doesn't like air conditioning, so her place was warm. We sat there, damp and steaming.

Meanwhile, my brother's wife began to worry that having mopped up the floor and eaten near sewer water, she could have endangered her unborn child. She, my brother and my dad walked over to the rental office to register a complaint. This particular rental agency coordinates rentals through numerous independent landlords in Stone Harbor.

I had developed a persistent frown and sat with my arms crossed as we waited for news. Not only was it raining for the second day, but now we had to deal with a health hazard, a clueless landlord and general inconvenience. Mom, seeing my face, made me smile by talking to me as if I were a little girl again. "Aw, poor Alyce. Come on, smile for me! Smile!"

When everyone returned, we still had no definitive word on what was happening except that a plumber was supposed to be evaluating the situation, sent by the rental agency. So with nothing better to do, we killed a little time by walking downtown to check out the shops while my brother and Dad returned to the beach house to see what the plumber was doing about the pipe.

We hit a couple stores downtown. One was a small gift shop where I bought some Burt's Bees shimmering lip gloss. The other was a Five and Dime where nothing cost either a nickel or a dime. It was, however, the least expensive store in town. The Gryphon found himself a straw hat. Mom bought it for him as a birthday present, since he was celebrating one, as well.

As we shopped in the Five and Dime, Dad burst in looking excited. He told us that when they checked back on the pipe, they discovered it had been just patched, poorly. They'd gone back to the rental agency and demanded to be switched into a different rental facility. My brother, in addition, threatened that if his wife got sick from this, he was willing to sue.

So the rental agency switched us into a much nicer beach house with its own deck that would have cost nearly twice as much. Here are some comparison shots to show you a comparison.

Old living room compared to new living room, three times as large

Old upstairs hall compared to new, which is a balcony overlooking the living room

Old bathroom with ancient plumbing, compared to bathroom with modern plumbing

Old bedroom with tacky paneling, compared to new, roomy and bright bedroom

We went back to the old place, packed up all our stuff, drove to the new place and once more unpacked. It was at about this time I started giggling. I said aloud, "I came up with a name for the old place. The Poopdeck." Everyone laughed.

The Gryphon and I were still in single beds that had to be pushed together, but the room was quite nice and roomier than the previous one. It also didn't have tacky wood paneling.

The one annoyance with the new place was a slight leak under the kitchen sink. The landlord had only recently discovered it and had, in fact, just told the realtor that day. This was easily handled by using a container underneath to catch the water and emptying it when it got full. Compared to sewer water falling on our kitchen table, this seemed good.

After we were all settled, several of us walked to the closest Mom and Pop grocery store. There seem to be quite a few of them in Stone Harbor. We got ingredients for that night's dinner, including a cake mix to make a birthday cake for The Gryphon. We had hoped to find a birthday cake that was already made but had no luck, even in the bakery that advertised birthday cakes on the window.

My brother's wife suggested making one from a mix, and I called him up to ask him which kind he'd like. He chose chocolate devil's cake. When we got home, I made the cake while my brother's wife and my sister cooked dinner of a casserole and some veggies.

The cake turned out well, even though it wasn't from scratch. We all sang "Happy Birthday" to The Gryphon and then he cut the cake.

Mom joined us for dinner again but went home soon afterwards, saying she was tired.

We all wanted to relax a little at the end of the day, so The Gryphon and I, my sister and her fiancé, and my brother and his wife walked down to the beach together for a beach walk in light rain. Once we got down there, we pretty much split into couples, walking around holding hands and kicking the surf.

At one point, my brother said, "What was the last case your imaginary lawyer won for you?" It took me awhile to understand he was referring to his threat of a lawsuit, when the truth is he has never sued anyone and wouldn't know where to start.

The beach walk was a nice, relaxing end to a stressful day. Back at the beach house, we all played the 20th anniversary addition of Trivial Pursuit, which I'd bought for my brother on his birthday. We were very excited because Dad had always won the original Trivial Pursuit, because it had a lot of questions from before our time.

We might have been a bit unfair, since Dad was the only one playing by himself, with all us couples teaming up. The Gryphon and I won that night on David Duchovny's butt. The question was regarding a plaster butt print that Tea Leoni had donated to a charity auction. We had to say whose butt print it was. Knowing that Tea Leoni is married to him, I shouted out "David Duchovny!" And we won.

With that happy note, we went to bed with high hopes for the next day. Winning on David Duchovny's butt certainly seemed a good omen.

More from my Summer Vacation:

August 3, 2004 - Rainy Arrival

August 5, 2004 - The Beach at Last

August 6, 2004 - Wetlands Hippie

August 9, 2004 - Intermittent Fun

August 10, 2004 - Overture to Otakon

August 11, 2004 - Delicious and Good Day

August 12, 2004 - Costumes and Tuxedos

August 13, 2004 - Grand Finale

August 16, 2004 - Denouement

August 20, 2004 - More Vacation Pics

Copyright 2004 by Alyce Wilson

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