Alyce Wilson

For several years now, I’ve been participating in an online writing contest called The Real LJ Idol that is the creative equivalent of the Olympics plus the Iditarod. While I’ve never placed higher than 5th in the competition (and that on my first year competing), I have made countless connections with wonderfully talented, creative and generous writers. I would also say that some of my best work from the past several years has come from responding to the LJ Idol prompts.

This is sign-up week for Season 9, which founder Gary Dreslinski has announced will be the final season. What are you waiting for? Hop on over to the main page, read the LJ Idol FAQ and cast your hat into the ring! The more cannon fodder participants the better!

A couple other people have published serious interviews with Gary in the run-up to Season 9, so I thought I’d just have a little fun. Following in the footsteps of Entertainment Weekly, here are some stupid questions with LJ founder Gary Dreslinski.

When it comes to LJ Idol strategy, which American Idol finalist would be best to imitate: Sanjay Malakar, Adam Lambert or Candice Glover? Please answer in the style of an American Idol judge (past or present) of your choosing.

(as Harry Connick Jr)

I think the critical error of this question is assuming that I’ve watched every season of American Idol. You really need to work on your basics here: the lead-off question is what gets people into an article and can help establish a really one-on-one emotional connection with your reader. There were a few that I missed. Including Adam Lambert and Candice Glover’s seasons. I did see Sanjay’s however, and was following “Vote for the Worst” in their campaign to get him there. So I’d definitely say that no one should attempt to imitate him.

Given that Candice’s album had the worst debut in American Idol history, I would have to go with telling people they should emulate Adam Lambert. He’s probably seen Keith Urban naked!

(as Paula Abdul)

Wha? Is this thing on? *falls down drunk*

Some have said that LJ Idol could be better compared to Survivor or even Project Runway than to American Idol.

I think Project Runway and Top Chef are probably the best comparisons, although the voting is very much modeled after American Idol.

To what non-reality show or shows would you compare LJ Idol? Why?

Game of Thrones. Many people are going to die trying to seize power.

Have you ever dreamt up a plot twist for LJ Idol that was too evil to use? Discuss.

Mass eliminations in Week 1. I’ve had that on my “to do” list since Season 3. I’ve never ended up pulling the trigger on it, because when it comes right down to it, I want people to have a fair shot.

How would life be better if everybody participated in LJ Idol?

They would lead richer, happier lives — full of laughter and mirth. Money would rain from the skies. Poverty and hatred would be completely eliminated as all of humanity put their collective beings into being the best Idolers.

What question should I have asked you but didn’t?

What has it got in its pocketses?